“From the first time I saw you, I actually / Said to myself, ‘I gotta meet her’ like a taxi” is only the beginning of this one, folks. If anything brings the worst out of Eminem’s rhymes on Revival, though, it’s when he’s “stiff as a statue” with twisted fantasies in mind and a pen in hand. Over another dad-rock rap beat courtesy of Rick Rubin, Eminem (or should I say Slim Shady) finds himself under the irresistible spell of a 'massive' behind. “Heat” is like “Remind Me”’s even more sexually-frustrated wingman. 'From the first time I saw you, I actually / Said to myself, 'I gotta meet her' (/meter) like a taxi'-'Heat' 'Make time stop, will I ever fall off? That day will never come / ’Til the pine box, bitch, fuck you! I’m better than I ever was'-'Nowhere Fast' Until I heard him say, “Since I’m manure, she’s a sewer / And this time this piece of shit’s running through her.” God helps those who help themselves, homie.

'Since I’m manure, she’s a sewer / And this time this piece of shit’s running through her'-'Tragic Endings'Įminem opens this song by rapping, “All my life, I was told, I was never nothing special / I don’t need to be reminded of it every other second / ‘Specially when all my self-esteem’s / Already shot to hell, I’m falling helplessly.” Even a hatin' ass hater like myself couldn’t help but feel sorry for the guy. “Girl, you’re so fucking fly, you belong in the mile high club.” (Full disclosure: that's an actual line from “Remind Me.”) If this is how Eminem talks about his break up with Kim, I can only imagine how he got with her in the first place. “But I’m sorry, Kim / More than you could ever comprehend / Leavin’ you was fuckin’ harder than / Sawing off a fuckin’ body limb'-'Bad Husband' '’Cause like a dictionary, things are lookin’ up / So much, got a sprained neck, know we would rise up'-'Like Home' “Ate off Hitler” is a prime example of Eminem needlessly sacrificing the broader-and in this case, bolder-message for #bars. But whatever nuclear bomb Em thought he was about to drop on The Donald essentially implodes on itself thanks to elementary humor and wordplay. In a no-holds-barred attack on Donald Trump, he calls him out for buddying up to the KKK and adopting neo-Nazism. 'The swastika with your name carved in it / Should be your trademark, ’cause hate’s all you played off / And you just lick the plate off / So I guess it pays to feed off of chaos / So basically, you ate off (/Adolf) Hitler!'-'Like Home'Įminem’s second verse on “Like Me” shapes up pretty nicely. I’m pretty sure this line made me cringe more than the time I tried eating an actual dill pickle. This line single-handedly divided the American people-into those who stopped listening to Revival at this exact moment, and those who didn’t (besides, half of Americans seem to enjoy voting against their own interests). 'He’s tryin’ to divide us / The shit’s like a cult, but like Johnny he’ll only unite us (/Unitas)'-'Like Home' Remind me to never listen to this song ever again. It’s like watching your uncle hit the town wearing his “lucky” leather jacket and attempt to pick up girls 20 years his junior by simply revving his motorcycle. “Remind Me” finds Eminem, 45, quite literally gushing over a woman he met on a night out (presumably at a biker bar) who has a crazy body and mean head game. 'I’m lookin’ at your tight rear like a sightseer / Your booty is heavy duty (/doody) like diarrhea'-“Remind Me” It’s weird, it’s awkward, but it still hurts like a motherfucker. If being forced to listen to an Eminem and Ed Sheeran song counts as torture, this line is like being tied to a chair and having your ear flicked really fucking hard.

'Always the bridesmaid, never 'The bride, hey!''-'River' Maybe it’s because they’re actually black, who knows. These are just five examples from the last few years of rappers comparing the treatment of black people at the hands of the authorities to better-and less, I dunno, less peculiar-things than dryer lint.

Worst eminem songs